If you don't Ask for Bagels

One Friday afternoon, almost twenty years ago, when Adam, my now 26 year old son, was 6 or 7. maybe 8, we stopped at a bagel place. Idling the car in front, I handed him $2 and told him to go get a half a dozen bagels for breakfast tomorrow. He looked at the large CLOSED sign and said, in his soon to be ugliest teenager tone, “can’t you read, the place is closed.” I said yes, but I see people moving around inside, perhaps they’ll sell us the bagels. He replied “The sign says open 6am to 3pm and it’s 3:15. They are closed.” I suggested why don’t you just knock on the door, show them the two dollars to indicate your request will be simple: six of anything but garlic and onion. This dialogue went back and forth until I said “Notice that I’m the one in the driver’s seat, and we are not moving till you go up to the door and try to get us few bagels, anything but garlic.” So Adam trudged out of the car, and I see the bagel place door open. Two or three minutes later, this little kid emerged with two shopping bags full of bagels. The owners, I guess, felt they could throw the bagels out or give them to this plucky kid.

So now, whenever there is something Adam wants and it doesn’t get offered to him and Adam asks, should I ask for it, I always reply “If you don’t ask for bagels ….”

Most people want things, but they just don’t ask. Then they feel hurt or even victimized when they do not get them. Most people want to make others happy, especially if it is at no cost to them. They simple do not know that you want something. Ask politely, and be amazed at how much of the world is given to you.

If You Don't Ask for Bagels